Joe left his earthly body on December 30th at 8:40 am. Face to face, he is with his Chilean born father, lovingly referred to as Papa Joe and his dear mother, Mama Tina, born in Puerto Rico. Mercedes, Joe’s only sister left us years ago, has been pressing him to come to them, making her presence known for some time now in his dreams. The wonder of “this after life” is just that – wonder. We are continually surrounded by unseen witnesses. Family and friends alike passing before us are all now celebrating.
We are left with the memories of a most kind, gentle and loving person. Joe lived his life as he endured his last two years of slow decline- patiently.
There were three twenties in his life’s employment. Joe retired from the United States Seabees Reserve, worked with the New York City Transit Authority and was the Energy and Technology Manager with the City of St. Petersburg in Florida. Joe enjoyed, continually learned and appreciated all his jobs, but these made not his identity. When one thought of Joe they thought of him as non-judgmental, a friend to all without exception, and without guile. He was the same on the outside as he was on the inside. I think Joe was given an innate sense of happiness – peace in himself and with others.
The stories Joe told to others were most often of family: about all his children’s exploits and accomplishments, his fishing tales – both the catches and the losses, the boat engine that couldn’t and of course the sport which he most loved – racquetball. As the thirty year plus playing partnership aged, they discovered pickleball, continuing to play five days a week. Joe had some vivid dreams this past year of many winning shots. Although physically not on the court, his spirit remains. Their foursome is now three. May the laughter continue to ring out!
Born in Manhattan, New York in 1934, Joe also known in childhood as Chito was first raised by his grandmother Antonia in Arecibo, Puerto Rico. He had life long memories, until his very end of grinding the daily coffee beans in the little wooden box, collecting rain water which drained from the tin roof into a barrel, and of course the sugar can stalks pulled off the back of a passing ox drawn court. Carefree and safe, barefoot and happy these were indeed precious memories for Joe.
At school age, returning to New York City, he was raised in upper Manhattan and then the Bronx. Joe started working early, as most children did in that era; from shining shoes with a box his father built, delivering fresh baked bread, even blocks of ice carried up tenement steps, – then in the early teens apprenticed in an electrical shop.
Life in New York was not limited to work, for street baseball was common, trying to avoid the cars, stick ball, hand ball, raising and flying roof top caged pigeons, and of course the beloved New York Yankees – making life long friends along the way.
Joe married Joan, his teenage sweetheart soon after a two year non combat experience on a Mediterranean bound aircraft carrier, The Lake Champlain. Joe was blessed with four children. Mark his first born son, the second son Joey, followed by two daughters, Elaine and Melanie. (Thank you for the seven grandchildren and two great grandchildren).
They knew him first, having special remembrances all their own from boating in the Long Island Sound, adventures in Central Park, whirlwind motorcycle rides throughout the Bronx and beyond. Just some of the many stories for them to tell and share again and again as memories are revived.
A deep, dark sorrow of loss followed Joe after their marriage splintered. But with time, comes healing.
Joe and I met through a mutual friend, quickly becoming fast friends. I remember vividly a long ago phone call which lasted all night, for like teenagers we were unable to hang up – giggling, laughing, sharing all our thoughts and experiences, till dawn. We had fallen in love and marriage followed forty-two years ago. Blessed with four daughters: Carolyn, Michelle, Elizabeth Anne and Rachel. (Elizabeth lived for only a short time).
We ultimately settled in St. Petersburg, FL near his parents and sister. Fishing, boating, family, volunteering – life has been kind and gentle to us these many years.
May the spirit of Aloha sustain us. Thank you Joe for all your love these many years. You have been my safety, my calm center, my friend, my better half and my love. Continually, I call to you to make your presence felt and known.
And on a more sober note our entire family has a request. Joe and the immediate family has been under the constant care of Suncoast Hospice. At home since June 2016, then for sixteen days until his final breath at the Brookside Care Center, in Palm Harbor, FL. (Michelle and I were afforded the incredible gift of being present when Joe left his earthly body).
Thank you to Suncoast Hospice – to the many doctors, the nurses, the nurses’ aides, the social workers and extended staff including the many volunteers – to the vast HomeCare team as well as as the Care Center Team. They have all become like family and will always remain in our hearts. Joe often spoke of the trust and love he had for them.
In lieu of flowers we would appreciate a donation of any amount to this non-profit Hospice. They care for all in need – no matter the person’s financial ability or insurance. Pinellas County is truly blessed to have Suncoast Hospice/Empath Health; for the care they give is not the norm in the rest of the country.
– Eulogy written by Carol Arenas
A memorial service will be held Friday, February 16, 2018 at 10:45 am at the Bay Pines National Cemetery. For those needing local arrangements there is a possible group rate available at Holiday Inn Express, Madeira Beach, 4816 100th Way North, St. Petersburg, FL or Courtyard by Marriott at Madeira Beach.
The details, the legacy of one’s earthly life lives on in the memories of family and friends. Please if you know Joe in a different way than I did, tell a story now. Tell anything. Give us a way to hold onto him. Help us all remember him.
May the spirit of Aloha sustain us all.
The Vibration of Aloha is a blessing filled with healing and happiness. The Hawaiian language has layers of meaning that depend on the speaker’s consciousness.
Aloha is a greeting and a farewell.
Aloha is love, mercy, compassion, gratitude, kindness and affection. To be in Aloha is to be authentic, honest, patient, and humble; in harmony with God and all of creation.
The word Aloha is filled with Mana, the Polynesian word for spiritual energy. Traditionally, Aloha is breath shared forehead to forehead with one well known.
Alo is ‘face to face’ and Alo is ‘the presence of God with us’.
Ha is Sacred Breath and Ha is Spirit.
Aloha is the Breath of God within us.
(copied)
Rachel my condolence and prayers go out to you and your whole family.
Carol you have my heartfelt sympathy during our loss of one wonderful man. I was always so glad and happy to see Joe when in came into the library, he will be truly missed. My prayers & thoughts are with you and your entire family.
Pat Ludwick
Deepest sympathy to Elaine, and the entire family. My thoughts and prayers are with you all during this difficult time
Aloha Carol and family. Beautifully written Carol. Yes, we are left with wonderful memories of a kind and gentle man. Thank You for sharing your family. I hope there is a here after so I can see him again. Laugh, fish, play pickle ball, etc. Hugs and prayers continue for you and your family.
Aloha,
et
Dad, a week has gone by and man its been a roller coaster up and down. I was out yesterday and saw a father with his young son fishing. I watched as the dad patiently set up the fishing pole for his boy and then set up his own pole, only to have to untangle and fix up the sons pole. Memories of your patience came flooding in. Love you.
Carol Arenas, my heartfelt sympathy for the loss of your wonderful husband, Joe. It was a pleasure to have known Mr. Arenas, he was a true gentleman and will be missed. Please extent my condolences to your family.
Marion
Carol, Such a beautiful tribute to Joe. Our Deepest Sympathy to you and the entire Arenas family. Our thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time. Rest in Peace Joe. You are missed.
Dear Carol, It was pleasure knowing Joe, and I always enjoyed seeing the two of you at the office. It touched my heart to see the special kind of love and caring you had for each other. I’m sure Joe is smiling and loving you still from his place amongst the angels. I’m sending my deepest sympathy to you and your entire family. May God give you peace and comfort at this difficult time.
Sorry about your loss. Praying for you and your family.
A lovely telling of a full and well-lived life. RIP.
Beautiful. What a full life.
Your mom wrote the most beautiful story of his life. We will miss him so much at our library. He was a wonderful soul and I see that in you, Michelle. He’ll always be there looking down on you.
Lovely remembrance.
Fair Winds and Following Seas, Shipmate!
I thought of you today, and everyday. Wishing you the best and the strength to deal with whatever comes your way.
Et and Paula
May you find comfort in God’s love during this most difficult time. We are so sorry about Joe’s passing. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Carol, There are times along life’s journey that can test the spirit deeply. Though this is certainly one of those times, may you never stop believing that your faith, your inner strength and the power of God’s love will carry you through. It seems impossible to speak of any consolation in the face of the bitter loss of your Joey…..We will always remember Joe and feel fortunate to have known him; his charm and warmth. Please accept our profound sympathies and extend our condolences to your daughters. Love, Blanca and Nick
The special people in our lives are never really gone. They have a cherished place in our hearts where they will always be remembered for the love they shared and the happiness they brought. Thinking of you with sympathy and hoping you find comfort in your special memories. Janice and I were so sad to hear of Joe’s passing and thoughts are with you and your family. I remember when I first moved to St. Pete and showed up at the pickleball courts. Joe was funny, welcoming and encouraging as I learned the game. We talked about his kids, Hawaii and his youth. While I will miss him, I feel very lucky to have gotten to know him. Our deepest Condolences.
Being human doesn’t happen despite suffering – it happens within it. When we approach suffering together, when we choose not to hide from it, our lives don’t diminish, they expand. Lucy Kalanithi
We are sorry for your loss, and we will miss Joseph. Our deepest condolences.
Those we love are as close as a warm memory, as near as a quiet afternoon spent remembering favorite times together. Wishing you memories full of love, laughter and all the good things that you shared. Joe was a real inspiration to me in so many ways – most especially his kindness and human-ness. I will be thinking of him often and I’m blessed for knowing him. Our heartfelt sympathies Barry and Pam
…..And we are put on earth a little space, That we may learn to bear the beams of love….William Blake
My heart aches for you as you go through this difficult time. May peace, love and joy reign in your heart, and may your heart be comforted!
Joseph’s family and friends,
We were honored to be part of your loved one’s life and extend our care and support to you in your grief.
I am Peace: A book of mindfulness
There are times when I Worry about what might happen next and what happened before. The thoughts in my head are like rushing water and i feel like a boat with no anchor….being carried away. I give myself a moment. I take a breath. And then I tell myself: It’s alright.
I feel the ground beneath my feet and steady myself.
I can watch my worries gently pop and disappear. I let things go.
I can say what I feel inside out loud. I know myself.
I can share kindness with others. I make a difference.
I can hug a tree and thank it for its beauty and strength. I connect with nature.
I can watch the clouds make shapes against the sky. I know wonder.
I can taste and smell and touch and hear and see what is all around me. I use my senses.
I can feel my breath fill my whole body. I tune into me.
Now the water is still. I have found my anchor, and everything is alright.
I don’t need to worry about before or after. I am in THIS moment. I am peace.
Now I share my peace with others and I hope that it is carried away to those who need it.
And I dream…..We are peace!
I received these quotes back in October.(thank you so much!). I am reading, re-reading the words now with a different prospective- as encouragement in my new reality without Joe beside me. Wanting to share them for the benefit of all, especially Joe’s children, for the void is real to them as well. We all experience grief and and aloneness differently…may we ultimately find solace within ourselves. May we become more empathetic and understanding of others because of this time. I appreciate each word of each condolence, and thank you all individually for taking the time and sharing your thoughts- writing them out. As a remembrance comes to mind, may I request you share these with me… with us! It was once told to me, that when someone enters our thoughts, it is them talking to us; it is them next to us whispering their message; or it is just them being there. So comforting is this, for I think of Joe almost all the time, and sometimes I am quiet enough to see and to hear! Now I will share these quotes.
Gathered from The Love of Impermanent Things by Mary Rose O”Reilly…
p.176: Hugh Prather says about silence: ‘ There is no problem that a quiet mind will not answer, because all problems arise from intense mental activity. Stillness permits a gentle correction of perception to occur….How can stillness allow this change of perception? Because what is real is also obvious. If the mind is busy, it is attempting to overlook the obvious…stillness allows you to see what is, which you cannot do when you are mentally striving, searching, confronting, taking warning.’
p. l53 ” Willa Cather ( Death Comes for the Archbishop) ‘ Miracles…seem to me to rest not so much on faces or voices or healing powers coming suddenly near to us from afar off, but upon our perceptions being made finer, so that for a moment our eyes can see and our ears can hear what is there about us always.’ ”
And lastly, (for now at least) one more quote:
Victor Hugo: “Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones;
and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task,
go to sleep in peace. God is awake.”
Tomorrow is a Celebration of Joe’s earthly life, is a Memorial, a Remembrance of him. The gathering will be a Bay Pines National Cemetery. The service starts at 10:45, although the staff requests we meet at 10:30. Everyone is invited back to our house afterwards for fellowship. May this be a memorable time. May we share in Joe’s happiness and love, for that is where he is- none of this life’s sufferings….in a state of love and peace,
once again in Aloha: in harmony with God and all people!
At a park and passed a man looking for where the fish are biting. Brought a smile to my face. Thinking of you and your new adventure. Love you.
Who knew that you setting off on your own adventure, would have a rippling effect of me setting off on my own journey, just on the present plane. Miss you. Love you.
Dad, went to a Hospice grief healing retreat today. I found my humor again. Talked about your clunky boats and getting stuck all over the great big ocean. Lol one session it was people walking a labyrinth. One lady got lost on the path. How does one get lost walking a path?!? Lol there was a traffic jam of people coming and going. And I found my laughter. We were all snickering and holding our sides. You were there laughing with us. We had reiki done on us by the amazing volunteers. And I told them about you not
Believing it. And calling the lady who came the voodoo lady and the volunteer who did it to me said that’s what she is called. And we laughed some more. Here you didn’t believe in it and it helped you. I was like. There must be more to this. I’ve also decided to stop conjuring up your last hours everytime the 30th runs around. I have some ideas as to how I could honor you not be dragged down to such dark places that do me no good. You aren’t there. I shouldn’t be there either.
I love you. I hear you twinkling among the stars. And I’ll look for my own well among this desert I’ve been traveling through lately. (From the little prince).
Dad, some baby bunnies in a nest appeared on the playground. And, your friend John Pacheco, his daughter found me on facebook. She sent some pictures of you, back in your Seabees days. This made me smile. Also, you and her dad died on the same day. He died a couple of years before you. That made me smile that you entered in on his celebration day, and had another person eagerly welcoming you to your new adventure. I hadn’t talked to you about Fathers Day. Mom and I went and saw your tree over by the pickle ball courts, and then went out and ate at Shells. It felt different w/out you being there. I love that song that i just recently heard: Dani and Lizzy: Dancing in heaven.
Dad, I’ve been hit by one of your favorite singers, Neil Diamond, and the song, I’ve been this way before. That one line, something like, some people never see the light, until the day they die. Sitting in love, surrounded by amazing love and light. I’ve been also seeing some amazing love and light myself. Getting into mindfulness and loving kindness. Loving kindness to myself and to others. Embracing my feelings like never before. Smiling at my anger, instead of getting angry at being angry. Who would have thought there was a way to really loving yourself. In religion i learned to hate myself. To be harsh with myself for my weaknesses. And to see it all boils down to love. We are also getting a new curriculum with the children, and in there is a social emotional component, where we teach them to be aware of their feelings. So everything is coming together. I’m learning for myself and then helping to guide them. And its helping cuz when i’m not harsh with myself, then i’m not harsh with others. What interesting conversations these would be with you. I miss you, and wonder how things are on the other side. Red tide is a mess right now. I’m guessing there are some amazing fisheries over there!
Love you
Dad, We celebrated the day you landed on the earth. Mom and I met at home, and then went to the cemetery. Mom said you’d be laughing. Mom got you some flowers. Which she always hated as they died so quickly. But there we went. Ad then we went to Shells. Had a quiet dinner. Thought of you. The bunnies have been showing up. Native folklore concerning animals has been spot on regarding the bunny and why its appearing now. The meaning behind this beautiful animal.
Love you.
Dad, Just received the pictures of your tree that the city planted by the pickle ball courts. What a beautiful day that was, the sun shining bright. Mom and your friends all gathered together. It’s been a rough month. Made it through your birthday and then my birthday, and mom’s birthday. I did have a special day a couple of weeks ago. Been painting at one of those classes, and made a sunflower with the words, faith, hope and joy. Had fun with that. Rachel got me a paint by number for my birthday, so it seems to be going forward somewhat.
Love you, and thinking of you.
Michelle.
Oh dad. Miss spending time just being with you. Trying to find my way. But it’s been hard. This weekend was rough. Emotions all over the place. Victor Hugo’s words came to mind. Go to sleep in peace. God is awake. Thinking of you and your adventures. Love you
Dad,
So much has happened since you’ve left this earthly zone. I’ve started volunteering with Hospice. I have a neat little lady. It has been good spending some time with her. Reminding me to live in the present. How grateful I am that I’ve had an open spirit to the many lessons that have been coming my way. Your tree by the pickle ball courts is green and growing. Thinking of you……
Coming close to the second year of your passing from this life to the next. Think about you often. Moved into a new apartment, it took a minute to think about leaving the old one full of memories of you and abby. But it was time, and i love my new place. im still volunteering with hospice……that organization helped heal and bring light through the darkness…….and im trying to bring some light into the darkness for others. you are so loved!!!!
Well, it’s 2020 and was thinking of, and obviously searching for, the Arenas family. I remember Joe as a very kind and genuine person. I am truly sorry for your loss. Peace be with you all.
If you wish to reconnect, dwneal@gmail.com